This is a follow-up to my post from Monday titled “Sharing Difficult Memories”. Monday was a very difficult day for me. I was incredibly emotional. I spent much of the day turning inward and trying to understand why the events of Sunday had such a profound effect on me. I spent time talking with my Heavenly Father….asking lots of questions and looking for answers. One of my questions was “why is this affecting me so deeply, why am I so emotional today”? God gave me the answer. He made me realize that Dave’s response opened the floodgates to memories and feelings that I had no idea existed. Let me explain……..
There have been many times over the years that I have talked about being adopted……shared my story. But there have NEVER been times when I allwed myself to feel/share the emotions that were tied to those memories, until Sunday. So what was so different about Sunday? Dave’s response. His deep concern and acknowledgement of the feelings I must have had as a young child to that meeting validated my feelings. It was almost like he was giving me permission to finally allow those emotions to come to the surface and then work through them.
My adoptive parents were really amazing people. They gave Delphine and I a life that was filled with love, hope, joy. It was an amazing life, but there was one thing that they didn’t do. They didn’t allow us to share our emotions much……….when I tried to talk about deep things, the subject was changed………..and we moved on. In all fairness, I don’t think my parents did this on purpose. I just don’t think that they knew how to deal with all of that either.
For two days, I was drained emotionally. Today I feel like I’ve worked through things and am ready to face the day, week, months to come etc. with a whole new attitude and you know what would make that attitude much better?
IF I GET A JOB OFFER TODAY. I really thought I would walk out of a meeting on Monday with an offer. Thought it might come yesterday……..today is the day, right Lord?
I’ve got to get some new pictures to post, but until then I leave you with some from my archives.