Striving for Perfection

Ok…..I will admit it. I follow a several mommy blogs and something that was posted on one of them recently got me to thinking. Why is it that we as mothers think that we have to be perfect? Rather, let me rephrase that question a bit. Why is it that many mothers feel that we need to make those around us “think” that we’re perfect? Let me just say this….THERE ARE NO PERFECT MOTHERS. We all make mistakes. We all yell at our children. We all get impatient with our children. You get the point. Yet, why are so many of us mothers unwilling to share our shortcomings with other mothers? Why do we put on the fake smile and say “everything is great”…..”my kid slept through the night at 6 weeks”…..”we never had any problems with our kids when they were in high school”. Why do we hide our struggles? Wouldn’t it be more helpful or everyone if we were a little more transparent and shared out shortcomings with those around us? I think that the “perfect mommy syndrome” is worse now than it’s ever been. Why? THE INTERNET. More and more mothers are turning to blogging….sharing their story with the world. Some of them do it just because it’s fun and they like to document their daily lives. Others do it for money…..and some make a LOT of money blogging about their lives. More and more of us are reading these blogs and at times turning to the internet mommies for advice. That is fine, but my concern is that many SAHM (stay at home moms) are reading these blogs of the “perfect mothers” and they feel like they are a failure. That is not right. If you are reading some of these mommy blogs, please remember that these mothers are sharing with the world what they CHOOSE to share. They are essentially sharing the good but not the bad and the ugly. Many of these mothers also give advice on how they “do it all”. Again, if you are a young mother who is reading these blogs…..please remember that most of these moms are still relatively new moms themselves and they do not have it all figured out. I say this because I know from experience. My children are ages 14-22 and there are some things that we did with our oldest daughter that we now realize were a mistake. Parenthood does not come with a manual. What works for one kid may not work for another. I know that this post is rather jumbled, but here’s what the bottom line is.
1.) There are no perfect parents.
2.) Many blogger mommies share only what they want you to know…..not necessarily the truth about their lives.
3.) We all make mistakes and that’s ok….pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes and move on.
4.) Your kids will love you whether you are perfect or not…….and they will forgive you. The best thing you can do for your children is admit it when you make a mistake and ask for their forgiveness.
5.) Parenthood is tough. You will have bad days. That’s ok……
6.) This is for new parents. Adjusting to a new baby in the home is very difficult. You are going to have days when you feel overwhelmed. You are going to have days when you want to say “I am not happy…..and I am struggling”. That is OK and it does not make you a bad parent or a bad person. It makes you human and honest. EVERY new parent has those feelings, some just won’t share them.
I really hope that this post had made some sense…..what I am trying to do is encourage those out there who have been reading some of the mommy blogs and are feeling a bit inadequate, feeling like you don’t measure up to some of these mommies. Believe me, you do. None of them are perfect!

The Streeter Family
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3 thoughts on “Striving for Perfection

  1. Beautifully written, I’ve been saying the same thing as I read the mommybloggers with their perfect lives. As the Mom of 3 (18,16,13) and 3 stepchildren (15,12,11) perfection is nowhere near my radar. lol

  2. I’m a mommy blogger, but if you check it out you will see I blog about the things I fail at the most- hence the domain http://www.theslackermom.com of course I *try* to get things right and perfect, but working full-time with three 2 and under, it is a rarity. I love that you have links to Tripp and Jonah!

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